Exchanging Busy for Balanced: How to Walk Through the Holidays like Mary Instead of Martha
Are you feeling excited and anxious about the holidays too?
I was recently thinking about the holidays, and I noticed something in my own body, two competing emotions. One was excitement, and the other was angst. Maybe you feel the same way?
As I was pondering my emotions, the story of Mary and Martha came to mind and I think their story can help us walk through the holidays differently this year.
When Doing Replaces Connection
Here's the thing about Martha: What she was doing wasn't wrong, but it wasn't what was best. And often, that's what's wrong with our holidays, we let doing replace connection.
Society tells us we need to cook elaborate meals, decorate perfectly, attend endless parties, and spend money we may not have. If we aren't careful, this beautiful time of year can become a burden instead of a blessing.
The Story That Changes Everything
In Luke 10:38-42, we find Martha opening her home to Jesus and his disciples. Her sister Mary sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. Frustrated, she came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
Can you feel Martha's frustration? She's doing all the work while Mary just sits there!
But read Jesus's response:
"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
We weren't meant to do everything. And we really don't have to. Mary reminds us that the most important thing we can do is slow down and be with Jesus.
What if This Year We Trade Hurried for Holy?
I thought I would share some ideas that might help us simplify this season, but I also want to invite you to share yours. If you've found ways to stay connected rather than distracted during the holidays, please share in the comments. Our collective wisdom is always better than what any one of us can come up with alone.
Start with Reflection and Understanding
Consider what went well in past holidays and what didn't. Then let's have an honest conversation with our families about what's important to them. I think we might be surprised to find that some traditions we think are essential are not really important to them.
Then let's take all that information and lay it at the feet of Jesus. Let's ask Him to show us what is most important this year. Then, we can look for opportunities to simplify
Prioritize Self Care
Walking through the holidays well isn't just about simplifying our schedule, it's also about caring for ourselves.
As women, we're caregivers. We tend to get into Martha mode, running around taking care of everyone else while neglecting ourselves. We end up exhausted and distracted, missing out on the deep connection with others that this season is truly about.
Here are some simple, free self-care strategies to help us stay grounded this season:
Morning Sunlight and Grounding
Walk outside putting your bare feet on concrete, grass, dirt or sand first thing in the morning and get sunshine on your face. The sun resets your circadian rhythm and improves your sleep and grounding resets your nervous system. If it's too cold out to go barefoot you can walk into your garage or get a grounding mat like I did!
Box Breathing
Twice a day and any time anxiety creeps in, try box breathing: Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds. Repeat the cycle 3 times. Nobody will even know you're doing it.
Visualization and Scripture
Visualize yourself walking through the holidays calm and deeply connected to the Lord and to others. As you visualize use your 5 senses to identify what you hear, see, smell, taste and feel. This makes the visualization more real to your brain.
"I'm not anxious about anything; instead, with prayer and thanksgiving, I give everything to the Lord. His peace will guard my heart and mind." (Philippians 4:6-7)
"I don't have a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
When we speak or visualize, this activates a part of the brain called the RAS (reticular activating system). Our brain begins looking for evidence that what we spoke and visualized is true. This reinforces everything we are trying to do!
Whole Foods
Try to avoid foods that come in boxes, bags, or through drive-through windows. Focus on organic meat, vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, legumes, and dairy. Whole foods stabilize your blood sugar, which directly impacts your mood, anxiety levels, and sleep quality
Movement
Move your body every hour or two. Take a walk, do squats or stretch. Movement helps regulate blood sugar and improves sleep which are both critical during the busy holiday season.
Rest and Margin
Under-schedule yourself so you have margin for the unexpected. Build in margin to read a book, take a nap, or simply rest.
Two Ways to Walk Through This Season
We have a choice between two paths:
Martha's mode: distracted, discouraged, and disconnected.
Mary's way: calm, connected, choosing to let His peace guide our pace.
Simple Action Steps You Can Take Today
Ready to walk through the holidays differently this year? Here are your first steps:
Reflect on past holidays. What went well? What didn't? What could you do differently?
Talk with your family. Ask them what's most important to them this season.
Pray for clarity. Lay it all at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to show you what matters most.
Care for yourself so you can care for others. Add in some self-care from the list above and practice it daily.
The Benefits of Choosing Balance
When you exchange busy for balanced and hurried for holy, everything changes:
Your stress decreases. You're not running on empty, trying to do everything perfectly.
Your connections deepen. You have the energy and presence to truly enjoy time with loved ones.
Your faith grows. You create space to sit at Jesus's feet like Mary, choosing what is better.
Your joy returns. The holidays feel like a blessing again, not a burden.
Take the First Step Toward a Peaceful Holiday Season
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Download the FREE Wheel of Wellness assessment: https://inspiredwell.org/wheel
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You were created for more than exhaustion and overwhelm. You were created for peace, deep connection, and fulfilling the purpose God has for you!
Let's take a deep breath together. This year, let's trade busy for balanced and hurried for holy.
Share the traditions have you simplified! What helps you stay connected during the holidays? I'd love to hear your wisdom in the comments below.
